PAIN MANAGEMENT TIPS: Traveling

Dear Readers:

I am traveling now, and moving in and out of internet service, so haven't posted since before I left D.C. This will be my only post until I'm home on Sunday, August 17. I hope you are having a lovely August.

I have learned to bring my comfort along with me when I travel. It means more bags, but we travel mostly by car, so they simply get stuffed into the trunk. Here is a list of the kind of things I bring:

* SNACKS: Because my appetite is off when I'm in a lot of pain, I have become fond of certain "comfort" foods. And because the migraine diet is fairly strict, I bring my own, never assuming anyone has stocked the specific kind of cracker or peanut butter than I can eat.



* MEDICATIONS: This may seem obvious, but I have left home without meds before. Now they're always top of my own "remember" list and my husband's last-minute reminders.

* AUDIO BOOKS on KINDLE: With migraines, reading in impossible, so I have a growing library of audio books on my Kindle. I make sure to download the ones I'd like to read before we leave home, in case I'm out of listening material when I'm also out of internet access.

* PILLOWS, SWEATERS, ETC.: Again, when traveling by car, these items are easier to bring along. In the winter, it's my favorite blankie. And always, the pillow I like best, the softest shirts and sweaters and most comfortable pants.

It's time to get ready for a family gathering. I'll post more tips on Sunday, if I think of any more.


Thank you for reading my blog. You can leave comments below, or email me at carold.marsh@gmail.com

 

Freedom and Ego

In the past week I've posted about having ambivalent feelings about getting well, and, within five days, unambivalent desire for the migraine pain to stop forever.

It seems a wide swing. I feel a bit embarrassed just thinking about it, especially that it's posted for all the world to see. Yet a couple comments on that first post tell me I'm not the only one honest enough to admit to such feelings. So I am certainly not the only one feeling them.

I can't write a long post today because my head's fuzzy with pain and medication, but I want to share a couple of thoughts about this seeming conundrum: that I can be both afraid and desirous of the same thing.

The first thought is about the ego. I have written before about Eckhart Tolle's writings on the ego that have helped me more than anything else to begin to find true freedom of spirit. (Click here and here to read posts; there are more in the Labels column to the right -- click on "ego" and "eckhart tolle.")

Our egos will grab any reason to form an identity. That grabbing targets the obvious and socially-acceptable identities like physical beauty, career and job, relationships (parent, sibling, friend) and talents. So we say, "I'm a painter." or "I'm beautiful." or "My daughter is a doctor." as ways to identify who we are. There are also less acceptable identities that are not so obvious and easy to name, like victim, sick person, or loser.

But, though some identities seem logical and others counter-intuitive, they're all the same mechanism: the ego clutching identity in order to survive. Where does freedom (in the title of this post) come in? Any clutching our ego does limits our freedom. If you cannot let go of your identity as lawyer or successful business woman, you are not free. I cannot let go of my identity as migraineur: I am not free.

There's more, but my head hurts. I am going to free myself of my identity as a writer who is thorough and finishes what she starts -- I'm ending
this post now. More later.


Thank you for reading this post. You can comment below or email me at carold.marsh@gmail.com

Resource: Blog post / Ellen Painter Dollar

Photo by William Marsh

 My friend, Ellen Painter Dollar, writes and blogs about life as a parent with chronic illness, from a Christian perspective. She has written a book, No Easy Choice: A Story About Disability, Parenthood and Faith in an Age of Advanced Reproduction.

I thought you might want to read a recent post of hers on her Patheos blog: Parenthood, Ethics, Disability and the Crooked Way of Grace.



The July 23 post is titled, "Down the Rabbit Hole of Chronic Pain."

Click HERE for the post.


Feel free to leave comments below, or email me at carold.marsh@gmail.com.

Pain Has No Ambivalence

Thankful that I'd made it through graduation weekend (Goucher College; Master of Fine Arts in Creative Nonfiction) with manageable migraine pain, I started out feeling philosophical yesterday about the migraine that kept me in a dark room with a blindfold on all day. But by late eveing, I'd had it with pain.

Last week I posted about some ambivalence I was feeling toward the possibility that a new treatment might reduce the migraines enough to let me lead a more normal life. Who would hire me, a 59-year-old woman who hasn't worked since December 2009? Who was I if not a woman living with  constant pain? I realized that part of me had accepted and embraced the identity of a disabled person and had, in some ways, actually come to appreciate the different choices it afforded me -- I can rest whenever I like, I have an excuse for missing things that, honestly, I wouldn't have wanted to do even if well, etc.

Last night, however, I'd come through three days of successfully managing migraine pain (which leaves one deeply fatigued) and then 24 hours of full-blown migraine and I'd had it. I just wanted the pain to stop. I wished the treatment I had posted about (occipital nerve block) had worked. Aside from relief and gratitude for being in familiar surroundings and conducting habitual routines, I just wanted to be free of migraines.The ambivalence I'd felt about getting well, last week when I was relatively comfortable, was nowhere to be found when I was in real pain.

This morning I must admit to myself that the treatment didn't work. My migraines are not reduced in number or severity. I do notice two benefits: the constant throbbing is quieter and less painful, and the back of my head doesn't ache as much.

Photo by William Marsh

It's like looking at a reflection in imperfect glass and seeing a distortion of what should be straight-forward reality. I have swung between two seeming opposites within the space of a week, first fearing the treatment would work and then wishing it had. But now is not the time to worry about or even reflect on that. I'm too tired today and yesterday's migraine is threatening to return. It's time to simply accept that this back and forth is part of life with chronic pain.

More accurately, it's part of life.







Thank you for reading my blog. I'd love to hear your comments and feedback, below. Or you can email me at carold.marsh@gmail.com.

PAIN MANAGEMENT TIPS -- Breathe

Photo by William Marsh

This is the first of a weekly series, Pain Management Tips. It will feature short, practical (as opposed to theoretical)  posts with a single pain management tip or exercise.









Breathing. We all do it, and that makes it, as I have said before, quite a handy tool in the pain management kit. But the flip side is this: we all do it, and that makes it easy to forget or discount. So when applied to pain management, the key to breathing is focused consciousness.

Breathing exercises done correctly are calming and relaxing. They're the mainstay of my pain management repertoire. For example:

Breathe in gently through your nose, then out as though blowing through a straw. The out breath should take longer than the in breath.

• As you breathe in, Imagine the breath filling you -- tips of toes, feet and ankles, legs, pelvis, abdomen and back, shoulders, neck and head to top of scalp.
• As you breathe out, imagine the breath taking with it from your body all tenseness of muscle and sinew, and ache of bone in a slow and relaxing whoosh.
• Do this ten times.

I welcome your comments below, or you can email me at carold.marsh@gmail.com. Thank you.